Fear #OpenBook

What is your biggest fear? What random and innocuous thing makes your skin crawl?

“I don’t like spiders and snakes…”

But that isn’t true. While I’m not a big fan of spiders, If they stay outside, I leave them be. There are some snakes that I avoid when possible, but there are others that I find absolutely beautiful. Have you ever seen a black racer sparkling in the sunlight? They almost look deep blue in color.

And while I’m no entomologist, I like some bugs. Not your everyday standard cockroach, housefly or mosquito, but give me a dragonfly any day. (I’ve been known to rescue dragonflies that got inside buildings and take them back outside.) I love the variety pf colors and the way the sun makes them sparkle. I’m fascinated by the way they move through the air with what seems like no effort.

Maybe you’ve noticed I’m a very visual person from the above descriptions. Which leans nicely into my biggest fear.

Well, maybe not my biggest but the one I’m willing to admit to. I worry about going blind.

Sure, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. But all my hobbies, my profession and my writing are based on being able to see. There are plenty of audio books out there, so at least I’d be able to feed my love of reading. But to not be able to observe this wonderful world in all its glories and beauty and pitfalls – I’d have a hard time adapting.

To never see another sunrise or sunset. To never stand and the top of a mountain and marvel at the world stretched out below. To never watch an old couple hold hands as they slowly make their way down the sidewalk.

To never write another book or story or poem. Sure, there’s speech to text technology, but I’d have to learn to use it. And sometimes the visual presentation of words helps to trigger the writing process for me.

And I can’t imagine having to ‘visualize’ what a person looks like from the sound of the voice. Or the way they feel. Or what color their hair is. In fact, I don’t know how I’d handle never seeing reds, greens yellows and more again. At least I’d have the memory of colors in my darkness.

And that’s my biggest fear. What’s yours? While you think about it, I’m going to go check the other authors.

August 13, 2018

What is your biggest fear? What random and innocuous thing makes your skin crawl?

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