October 19, 2020
Do you embrace dialog or narrate your way around it? Why?
“Evening, Ms. Duprie,” he said, as he took the brim of his hat between his thumb and index finger for the briefest of moments. “Welcome back.” from The Marquesa’s Necklace
And welcome (or welcome back) to all of you!
I couldn’t resist. Despite recently coming across a “rule” that you should never start a book with dialogue (does that count for blog posts, too?) I had to do it. Open with dialogue, that is.
Because yes, I’ve fully embraced dialogue in my stories. Because no matter how well-written, it’s hard to read page after page of prose with long paragraphs and few breaks. For me, anyway. I used to be able to do it, but my mind doesn’t work that way anymore. And if I can’t read it, I certainly don’t want to write it.
That doesn’t mean I ignore narrative prose. I also don’t want to read page after page of dialogue, like reading a script for a play. The trick is in finding a balance between the two. And using that balance to move the story along.
The first thing I noticed when walking into my apartment was the afghan I kept on the back of the recliner. It was on the floor and hadn’t been like that when I left. “So who’s been sitting in my chair?” I asked. “Eli?” I called hopefully to no response.
Then I noticed the dirty dishes in my kitchen sink. “So who’s been eating my porridge?” I whispered to myself. Surely a thief wouldn’t have stopped to make himself a sandwich.
I tip-toed down the hallway, holding my breath. The bathroom was empty, but my bedroom door was partially closed. I carefully pushed it open and peeked inside. A familiar head nestled on my pillow. “So that’s who’s been sleeping in my bed.” from Her Ladyship’s Ring
That was a fun scene to write. Even though the dialogue was one-sided, it moved the plot forward.
It can be tough to write dialogue for more than two people in the scene. The standard “he said” or “she said” dialogue tags don’t work when there’s more than one he or she. That’s when the use of actions and descriptions come into play.
“You waiting for someone?” a gruff voice asked to my right.
“My ride,” I answered blandly, without looking up. I didn’t want to show any interest.
“The night is young,” came a second voice from my left.
I was in trouble. The voices held no hint of helpfulness. “And I have an early morning. So it’s time for me to go home.”
“Don’t you want to party with us?” The smell of alcohol lingered heavily on the first man’s breath.
“No thanks.”
The man on the left reached out and grabbed my arm. “Sure you do.” from The Baron’s Cufflinks
The rules are different for non-fiction and screenwriting, of course. We have at least one screenwriter in this group and I’m looking forward reading to her post. (You can follow the links below to find the other posts)
One more thing before I go. I checked twice, and either dialog or dialogue are acceptable spellings according to the grammar police. So, let’s not start that argument!
Until next time, stay safe!
October 19, 2020
Do you embrace dialog or narrate your way around it? Why?
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I never knew you shouldn’t start a novel with dialogue. That’s another thing I’ve learned, although sales of one of my books that starts with dialogue have always been more than any of the others. Hmm…
I didn’t either. It’s one of those “rules” I might make a point to break because I think it’s silly!
Or weather or… Anyway. “I called hopefully” … throw that stuff away. It’s for you ‘splainin’, not the reader. We know that from context. As my first editor would say “That’ll be a dollar. You can pay me when you get the hook out of my nose.” The point – let your characters talk, your readers invest. every ly tag creates distance between you and what the reader might invest.
Forget me – here’s a real author who gives rules the finger
I was at a Santa Barbara writers’ conference a couple of weekends ago, and I listened to the students, reading. And they all use adverbs, ‘She sat up abruptly.’ And I tried to explain that those words belong to the author, the writer, and when you hear that word there’s just that little moment where you’re pulled out of the seat. Especially by that sound, that soft L-Y sound. Lee. So often it doesn’t fit with what’s goin’ on, y’know. I mean, if a person sits up in bed, they sit up in bed. You don’t have to tell how they sit up in bed. Especially with what’s goin’ on. In this instance, she sat up in bed ‘cause she hears a pickup truck rumbling by outside very slowly and she knows who it is. So you know how she sat up in bed. And in her mind she’s saying, ‘It’s that fuckin’ pickup truck’. She knows it is. And then there’s another, say, half a page or so of inside the character’s head and the phone rings. She gets out of bed and feels her way over and almost knocks a lamp down. And she passes this stack of self-help books, on the desk, and picks up the phone. And I suggested to the young woman who wrote this, ‘Save the fuckin’ pickup, drop the fuckin’ adverb, and put it with the self-help books and it’ll say a lot more about your character.’ Elmore Leonard
The problem with adverbs is they are part of our everyday speech. And yes, they weaken our writing but they can be hard to avoid. (Especially in dialogue!)
Adverbs and passive voice are impossible to avoid in storytelling. People use adverbs when speaking in dialog. They are easily avoided when tagging dialog. Delete them. If the dialog doesn’t carry it without them re write it.
However, in certain genre specific instances adverbs rule. There’s an EL story about an erotic romance author that wrote books out of nothing but adverbs and incest. These days we have to be better than that. Unless that’s what we’re doing.
I have an acquaintance who wrote an entire book without using a single adverb (or so he claims.) I haven’t read it to verify if it’s true.
Dialogue requires that authors allow characters to speak authentically. We use tons of adverbs when speaking.
But not as tags. Except you’re in the romance biz so you could pretty much live off them!
I limit adverbs except when it comes to external and internal dialogue. I’ll also let sentences end in prepositions, participle dangle and begin sentences with conjunctions.
I’ve tried to “fix” a few sentences that ended with prepositions only to mangle them badly. Speech has evolved over the years and sometimes the old rules don’t work with modern speech patterns.
Start a book with dialogue, why not? There’s another rule that I’ve broken (I’m losing count). I write with a maximum of three talkers at once. I can’t keep track of more in real life conversations, why should I make some poor reader try it?
Richard, I don’t know why not. I can’t even remember where I found that rule. I just remember going “Huh? Really?”
I’ve heard the same rule and ignore it. Some rules are just silly and the one about “never” is almost always really silly. I’ve started stories with dialogue and never regretted it.
And, I think the rule comes from non-fiction writing. Never start an essay with a quote — supposedly.
Adverbs are a tough one, which is why I used one deliberately. Sometimes adverbs are highly appropriate. Sometimes you could spend two sentences explaining how your character is “hopeful” when you could just use the one word. And, in dialogue, everybody uses adverbs and so writers writing dialog should use them too. Use them sparingly in narrative, but remember, that rule arose mainly because adverbs were overused in certain genres, so we’ve gone to an extreme of eradication. Moderation is a worthwhile goal. Don’t use them if you don’t need them, but use them when they’re appropriate.
And if you want to diagram my above sentences, you’ll find that just about every sentence contains an adverb. (wink)
Don’t start a novel with dialogue? Says who? Never mind. Don’t care. Great excerpt, and I love how you put the grammar police in check. LOL
I didn’t know that was a rule, either. I’m loving all the rule breaking, and it makes a fantastic opener!