How do you see yourself vs how you think other people see you?
Have you ever had one of those moments? When someone compliments you and you stumble through a thank you because you can’t figure why they think you’re so (fill in the blank with whatever relates to you.) You know what I’m talking about. Those moments that make you feel like a fraud.
It’s the impostor syndrome.
A lot of us have it. We work hard but never feel good enough. So when we get a compliment, it’s hard to accept whether it’s in person or on paper.
Moments like that hit me all the time at work, in my personal life, and in my writing persona. If I allowed half the praise to sink in, I’d feel like some sort of super woman.
Here’s an example: A few weeks ago, a fellow writer praised me for all the help I advice I gave her on the business side of being an indie.I was astonished, because like most indies, I’m putting together the information a piece at a time, learning as I go, but always willing to share what I’ve gathered from other sources. It’s not like I’m coming up with the information myself. The fact that this writer viewed me as some sort of expert floored me. I didn’t scream ‘I’m a fraud!’ out loud, but I sure as heck thought it.
At times I find it amusing. Like the time a representative from the software company we use at work asked me to be part of a focus group for new features being developed. Called me an expert. I thanked him, but internally I was shaking my head. I know the right questions to ask and how to get the answers, but I don’t know if it makes me an expert.
So how do others view me? The experts will tell you it doesn’t matter, it’s how you see yourself. That sounds all very well and good, but you know you care. I do. So, when little ‘ol insecure me gets a compliment, I try not to let it go to my head. Instead, I look at what I did to deserve that compliment, and try to do whatever it was even better.
By the way, that means I absolutely pay attention to the book reviews I get, both good and the not-so-good. The good ones I read with pride, the others I search for the one thing I can take from them that will help me improve my writing. So if you enjoy my stories, and haven’t done so already, please leave me a review!
Now, let’s head over and see what the other authors have to say.
September 17, 2018
How do you see yourself vs how you think other people see you?
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